If you’re over punishing your body at the gym, drinking detox teas, eating ‘clean’ during the week, only to binge in the weekends, then this post is for you.  It is totally possible to get a body you love without dieting.

Getting a body you love doesn’t require any of the above.  In fact, chances are you’ll never get there if you continue this cycle.  It’s time to do things differently.  To get a body you love, you need to start being nicer to yourself.   Getting a body you love isn’t about restrictive diet and punishing exercise,  it’s about a change in perspective.  Sure, healthy eating and physical activity are important, but so is being kind to yourself and realising that your body is your own individual shape and you should make the most of it. Let go of unreal expectations of a perfect body.  There’s no such thing.

1.  Stop self analysing in the mirror.

There’s nothing wrong with checking yourself out.  But don’t stand there and nit pick.  We’re often told to love our bodies, but if you’ve beat yourself up a long time about certain parts of you, you’re not going to start suddenly loving that part. So rather than being mean about yourself, just accept who you are today.  When you feel yourself start to self criticise, engage in less emotive, more neutral body language.  For example, instead of  “My thighs are so fat and chunky” switch this to “My thighs are the largest part of me”.   If we then focus on the things we love about ourselves and are neutral about our not so favourite parts, it’s a step towards a more positive body image.    It’s pretty hard to make progress when you’re constantly beating yourself up about not being good enough.   You don’t have to love your body right away, but accept yourself as you are today and instead of putting energy into hating on yourself, put that energy into some positive new habits.

2.  Exercise to feel good

Exercise is so much more than a way to control your body shape.  It’s a way to celebrate what your body can do.   Instead of focusing on the way exercise will make you look, focus on feeling good.  That’s not just from the endorphin rush either.  Exercise goals are something positive to work towards to give you a sense of achievement and satisfaction. Push to improve your fitness, to gain strength and power, to improve flexibility and form.  Focusing on how exercise makes you feel helps you appreciate and love your body for what it can do, not just what it looks like.

3. Eat for nourishment, as well as pleasure.

Years ago, when I was stuck in a bad place with my body and food, I used to make some gross meals – soley because they were low in calories.  Egg white omelette served with tinned tomato for lunch, sugar free jelly for afternoon tea.  I didn’t enjoy these, they didn’t nourish me.  I was always starving and ended up binging on sugary foods later on.    Eat for nourishment – include healthy options you love to eat, not because you think you should be eating them.  Not a fan of green smoothies?  Then don’t make them – there are other perfectly good ways to eat your greens.  Whilst green smoothies may be the image you see as healthy, there are plenty of other ways to be healthy without a glass (or jar!) full of liquid greens.

And whilst nourishment is super important, there’s nothing wrong with eating for pleasure either.  It’s about getting the balance right.  I love chocolate. I love almond croissants. Neither of these have particularly good nutritional value, but man do I love them.  I’m not eating almond croissants every day, but occasionally I’ll go for coffee and have one.    It’s fine to eat the foods you love in the context of a healthy diet. If you feel guilty about eating these types of foods, often you eat them quickly and sometimes eat past the feeling of satisfaction.  You feel you’re being ‘bad’ so you may as well get all the badness out of the way.  It’s time to stop this way of eating.  Eat the foods you love slowly. Enjoy them.  Eat them mindfully.  Stop when you’ve reached the point of satisfaction.   All foods can be a part of a healthy lifestyle.  It’s about balance and portion size.

 4.  Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel down on yourself

If you feel down on your body after flicking through pages of flat stomachs, visible abs and super toned arms and legs, then unfollow them.  Instead, find pages that celebrate body diversity and a healthy relationship with food.  Some of my favourites include The Moderation Movement and The Nutrition Guru and the Chef

5. Focus on building healthy habits

Rather than dieting and food rules, focus on building healthy habits.  Often when we try and change our dietary habits we try and do everything all at once. You know, you say to yourself on Monday you’ll stop having sugar, you’ll go to the gym every day, whip up kale chips instead of potato chips for snacks and prepare a healthy lunch every day for work.  Then when you skip one of the things you said, you feel like a failure and just stop all together until you feel ready to try again.  The truth is, in the busy, frantic world we live in, it’s HARD to make change.  Sometimes less is more.  If you focus on one habit, cement that then add another one, you’re going to make changes that stick.  It’s a much more sustainable way to make change.  Sometimes the slow way is the best way.  Remember the tortoise and the hare?  Who won the race in the end?  Sometimes slow can be the best way.